Reflection on Assignment 3 Revisions

Revision of Assignment 3

               

I chose to revise assignment three because when looking back at it I thought it seemed kind of cluttered and long.  I think I did many good things on this paper, but de-cluttering and removing some parts and pieces that don’t belong seemed like a good way to revise.

There were at least a few sentences in every paragraph seemed unnecessary or like they didn’t belong. When editing the first time, I went through and marked the things that seemed like they could use some revising. When going through the second time I decided whether it was wise to rephrase and/ or place it somewhere different or to just cut it out altogether. 

A lot of the changes were made in the beginning of the paragraph when discussing the topic of the paragraph.

For example, I changed “Many smaller memorials exist within the Memorial Union itself and are located in places where students are able to see them whenever they visit the union” to “While several memorials are scattered throughout the Memorial Union, some are better known than others.”. I felt that this was a good change because I narrowed the topic sentence down. The original was very broad, long, and lost the attention of the reader.

I deleted sentences such as “Much of this movement was represented by the editor of the campus newspaper, a student himself.”. This sentence didn’t really fit and there wasn’t really a different place that it would fit better.

Overall I think that the changes made to my paper improved my paper.